Family Feathers

With the price of gas now closely creeping up on the price of a gallon of milk, our vacation plans have changed greatly.  We will drink less milk products and drive fewer miles.  Spring Break was spent in-state, this year,  sipping on filtered water as we explored the mountains of the Ozarks.  As we loaded the car with all of our necessary belongings, I realized that our family can probably never fly again because none of us know how to pack in moderation.  For the life of me,  I don’t know why we had a dulcimer or a 30” supersized  pink polka dot kickball with us, but we did.   We traveled to a small church retreat on top of a mountain that was closed for the winter.  Apparently, they will rent a lodge that will sleep a small church for a deeply discounted price in mid-winter.  We were instructed to only use four beds and leave the other rooms untouched.  I had visions of “The Shining” and the empty rooms of a lodge closed in winter.   Realizing I would be alone on the top of a mount

A curious game that my children enjoy is one known as "Touch the Sink."  This game only works if one child has an unhealthy fear of germs and in my family, that fear is alive and well.  My daughter is a true germaphobe and has developed very detailed plans on how to enter and exit a public restroom without ever touching a door handle or bathroom surface of any kind.  I have learned to manage this fear by employing my own internal time clock that tells me if she has been in the restroom too long and is trapped on the other side of the door waiting for the next person to enter so that she can make her escape.  It is common practice, while dining out, for me to leave the table in mid conversation, chewing on my last bite of buffet turkey from the Luanne Platter, to push open the restroom door and return before anyone can ask what I'm doing. This child of mine is the same one who will not use an eating utensil if it has touched the table at any point before or during dinn

Many a stray animal has sought refuge at our home and while some are simply passing through, others tend to stay for a while.  The latest addition to the clan is Bella, the lab that nobody noticed was pregnant until suddenly there were eight dogs in her house instead of one.  We have taken in flying squirrels, tail-less lizards, baby deer and a chicken that fell off a Tyson truck on its way to certain demise.  My daughter claims each and every one of these pets, immediately names them and picks the smallest, weakest one to begin dressing it in tiny pet clothes much against its silent protests.  My son makes it quite clear from the onset that none of them, but one, is his.  He lays claim to a temperamental Siamese cat named Homey.  Homey is a self proclaimed autocratic leader of all the animals in this little Kingdom.  He has no use for the sick, lame or lazy and will run them off when nobody is looking.  Thank goodness my daughter is two steps ahead of him, nursing the ill in private