Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Cooking While Driving
  As my son prepares for college, I’ve read dozens of brochures about career fields and all the great things one can be.  While I am a college graduate and do have a good career, I think the university may have failed in truly preparing me for my place in the workforce.  I understand the skills required for someone with my degree, but nowhere in the pamphlet about academic choices, did they include a picture of a woman racing into work with a bag of potatoes in one hand and a crock pot in the other.    While duty calls, so do the hungry bellies of our families and we have learned to do what we can, where we can and when we can.  My friend Kelly has figured out how to work and cook at the same time to meet the demands of the workplace and her family.  I’m certain when she chose her career path it didn’t include defrosting roasts in-between assisting clients.
  I remember the early nineties when mini-vans first came out and my friend, Hal, bought one that had a built-in refrigerator and a stove top warmer.  He was thrilled that you could heat a can of soup while driving down I-40.  Being single and unaware why that might have been a selling point to a man with five children, I could not figure out why anyone would ever want or need to cook and drive at the same time. Oh, I was so naive.
  Now, as I have gotten older and have children of my own, I fully understand the thinking behind such a wonderful option.  Of course, my kids, unlike their mother, would never eat Spaghettios out of a can and I would need a vehicle with a full Viking range and a Scotsman Ice Maker that dispenses nugget ice just like Sonic.  In fact,  If I could start dinner in my car, on my way to work, I may never actually have to unload groceries again.  Everything would be right where we need it.  This would require extra space for storage and a prep counter and possibly a separate hand washing sink, so the car would have to be very long.   We may, in fact, have to go up and design a double decker, fuel efficient, meals on wheels vehicle that could carry me to and from work.  If we could squeeze in a washer and dryer, I might be able to knock out some laundry while I’m working on next year’s business plan.  Tell me I wouldn’t be popular walking into the board room smelling of home cooked potatoes and Downy. 
  Until then, we will continue to thaw meat in our passenger seat, cook in the back rooms of our offices and tote bags of potatoes where they are needed. 

Friday, January 4, 2013

Put Your Left Foot In

Put your left foot in...
    Morning should be quiet and peaceful and should not include hunting for one's own shoes that have disappeared overnight.  It amazes that I can take both shoes off in one location and yet, without fail, the pair separates sometime during the night when nobody is watching.   While hopping though the house this morning, wearing only one black leather boot, I mined for the missing mate in the closet, under the bed and in my daughter's room.  It's sad to report that I never found the other boot, but I did find a small collection of left footed shoes under my couch.   This begs the question, "Why?" and even "How?"  Why would anyone have a need for one shoe only and what would be the reason for a small collection of shoes, for the left foot only, to gather under my couch!?!  After turning the house upside down and slowly slipping into madness, I concluded that we had a one legged shoe thief who liked my shoes, but needed only one from a each set.  It's either that or there is a crazy game of Hokey Pokey going on after I fall asleep each night. 
    I left word for my daughter to please locate the missing shoes and oddly, without fail, she matched all the shoes and left them in my room.  She has an uncanny ability to find lost things and restores sanity to my world.  

    It is not uncommon for items to come up missing in my house.  It is usually after a complete meltdown on my part that the items magically reappear.  It is odd to me that a 10 gallon stock pot or a plunger can mysteriously vanish with nobody knowledgeable as to who removed the items from the house.  I've learned not to get too attached to material things as who knows when they will suddenly come up missing.  They normally return, but not until I've moved a few steps closer to madness. To this day, I'm still missing some right footed shoes, a very special wine opener, a three legged cat and a mop that must have walked right out the door.   

Thanks to Ben Simo for the great shoe pic.

Oddly, my concern over left footed thieves could be valid as I ran across this recent article...

Unfashionable Thieves Make Off With 50 Oversized Right-Footed Shoes

If the shoe fits...

We're not kidding when we tell you that a San Francisco shoe store had some $10,000 worth of right-footed plus-sized shoes stolen Monday night.

Perhaps it was the work of some right-footed peg-leg pirates?

According to Johanna Nilsson, a spokeswoman for LLXLLQ (AKA: really large shoes for women), she parked her car near 19th and Valencia streets, leaving a suitcase of 50 right-footed shoe samples in her trunk. When she came back, the shoes -- and incidentally, her Christmas spirit -- were long gone.

The Palo Alto-based online store, which specializes in oversized Italian shoes, is now hoping that a good Samaritan who appreciates shoes will find the footwear and return it.
Yes, there's a reward -- no questions asked. Anyone who returns all 50 shoes can get either a free pair of oversized footwear (one right and one left shoe), or $150 Visa gift card. If you know what happened to the shoes, call Nilsson at (650) 516-7463.
Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised if now there's a sudden rash of left-footed shoe thefts around town.





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