Sunday, October 16, 2011
I will admit, that the idea of a safe room for tornadic weather is a bit more appealing to me. I live in the middle of tornado alley and they usually follow a path just a few miles north and south of my home. We have been lucky so far. This past Spring, the local live view radar showed a tornado headed straight for my house. I put the kids in the bathroom closet and tossed the laundry into the hall. Worried that paramedics may find us, I had to take the laundry to the laundry room so it wouldn't be all over the hallway floor. With sirens blaring I began a load of whites with extra fabric softener from my end of days stock-pile. I walked outside to see what demise was headed our way and discovered that the sky looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. I popped a Tic-Tac, pulled the kids from the bathroom and made them come look at the popcorn clouds above. In 47 years, I had never seen such an apocalyptic sky. It would not have been surprising to see a dragon suddenly poke it's head through these bulbous clouds or have it start raining two-headed sneeches or puff-a-lumps. All things were possible.
It seems that weather patterns are getting more and more extreme and rare weather events aren't so rare anymore. Perhaps this is all leading to one grand finale. I understand that there is a company selling safe havens for $50,000. They are loaded with all things needed to survive the end. I would so love to see that packing list. They are in an undisclosed location and you won't be told where they are until days before the end. This begs several questions.... the first being, "Really?!?" So someone is going to get advance notice of the end??? What happens if you pay your $50K and receive notice that the end is hours away and your low rise, gulf front safe haven is located in Antarctica? I imagine days before the end of life as we know it, total chaos will break out and booking a seat on Southwest Airlines won't be as easy as it once was. How many suitcases you can travel with is no longer your biggest problem. Another factor to consider is that there are no antelopes in Antarctica and once the cans of potted meat and vegetables are gone, it's penguin and seal for dinner. I'm certain this would be a high fat diet and not good for those of us watching our cholesterol. I think a better safe haven, would be one where you are arm in arm with your loved ones, listening to some old 70's ballads, waiting for that warm light of rapture to carry you home. The inventory list for this safe haven contains no Tic Tacs, potted meat or penguin grills. Faith and family is all you really need there. Okay.. and a Van Morrison CD.